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24 November, 2009
[untitled]

Look into your soul, and you'll see that you're unique;
The one and only person who is you.
So you don't have to worry about looks or perfection,
Cuz it's you who people accepted and loved you for.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of walking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken that cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never seems to live


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

11:17 AM

23 November, 2009
[untitled]

A white lie's still a lie
but i guess it's better than deceiving

善意的谎言同样是谎,但怎样的谎总比欺骗来得好。

like i said, 我承认自己的自私;but i don't care if what's done can be undone or not. A fact remains a fact. I jolly well know that i shouldn't have acted in every-way i did that day, and should spare a thought for others. But seriously, i don't think what I did was all my fault. Every time I'm in a bad mood, you say it's because i watch too much. hello? in what way(s) does it look like i watch TV 24/7? not even a quarter. And there you are, the person who I'm seeing everyday, putting the blame on what i watch. Hasn't it come to your mind that you were the one? 你屡次三番提醒,批评我的错。But because you're an adult you‘re fault-free?! Whatever. I shouldn't have told you the truth. But anyway if i didn't , it'd looked as if i had a serious attitude problem. And once again you'd start to blame nearly everything on me.

いつもそうだった。何かが起る時、いつも私のせい;彼女は何も悪いことをしてない。まだ解らない?それともまだきずいてない?昔から貴方はずっとそうだから怒ってるよ!だから何も話さないんだ!


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

5:27 PM

18 November, 2009
ごまかせない人は自分だけ

It's been years since i last posted; Prom yesterday was awesome and i'm waiting for pictures to be sent to me x) everyone looked so different and yes, stunning.

I thought the end of Os would mean more fun-filled days spent with my friends. But some are working and some already have dates =( Guild outing would probably be in the 1st week of dec cuz uni students are having their exams.. I'm bored stiff at home!! but whatever. I guess its a billion times better than studying 24/7. ah what horrible memories =S anyway, i'm looking forward to all my promised dates:

going to my's house
dragging wei en and cx to my house
FINALLY a guild gathering which i can attend,
seoul garden with cynthia/valencia/esme and the rest
some random meeting which we haven't decided.

Oh and art, i want my chocolates from germany~! your Pooh's with me. hoho xP


everything ended in a flash.
私は本当に行きたかった
けど見たくない人がいるから
行かない
だから、御免なさい
“爱是需要勇气的” -- Favourite quote from Sarah Phang


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

3:16 PM

03 October, 2009
[untitled]

life's never a bed of roses, and i hope it's never a bed of skulls.

the past week was absolutely horrible. school ends at 3 every odd day, 5 every even day. it's very true that when we submit a script, the teacher gives us 2 additional papers to do. Everyday i come home, it's bathe, work, eat, work, sleep.

If i list out my to do list, it'd be so long it'll eat into my precious do-work time. Cleared physics '07 papers, Chemistry TKGS papers, SS SEQ, Chinese paper 2, Literature on TGM, english paper 2. And i'm still left with 6 essays to write. really. 2 chinese, 2 english, 2 lit. and 2 SS SBQs, 1 SEQ, A-Math/E-Math SCGS papers. by monday. omg i feel like getting one week MC. then i don't have to do all these work.


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

4:11 PM

26 September, 2009
[untitled]

left with the last, final mile for me to run in the ten-mile race. But i'm running out of energy and bananas doesn't help.
Living in my own illusion might not be a bad choice, but i shall be courageous and face the dreaded challenge. Like what people say:
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow
That's what i'll be. I MUST, SHALL and WILL work hard.
Tears of joy, not sadness.
My ZERO-points, here i come!
[if i can't reach for the stars, i can at least land on the clouds. right?]


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

7:56 PM

25 September, 2009
prelim results

did quite badly for my prelims. L1R5 increased..

English: C5 [Failed paper 2]
E-Math: A1
A-Math: A1
Physics: B3 [11 marks worth of careless mistakes]
Chemistry: A2
Geography: 54%
SS: 60% [Failed my SEQ. zZz]
Combined-Humans: C5
Lit: N.A, but it can't be any better
Chinese: C5

So, my L1R5 adds up to a total of...17
When there're people getting 8 points.. wts
I smell danger.


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

9:04 PM

23 August, 2009
it's in the middle of the morning

and i'm typing this random post. i can't do a-math weekend assignment -- prelim paper 2. the answerS just refuse to appear. =S did some papers today and cleared some of my doubts, but still i'm left with A LOT of work to do. my to-do-list is snow-balling. while doing the nhhs paper today, there were some terms i don't even know [and i've never SEEN it before]. what 'locus of points' and 'transformation' blah blah blah~ was SUPER worried cuz i didn't know what on earth that was. but, black also didn't know. *phew* [i didn't mean to be mean] so i shall go ask Mr Lee tomorrow to confirm if it's in our syllabus or not.

i need to finish my physics TYS cuz i haven't touched it for like 1 year already. and my physics assessment book, and PWD books. and a-math TYS. gosh, and i still've got past year papers to do. freaking 76 for mock exam. #)%*_)*%(@*^)#@(+. i really did my best, and that was the result i got. it'll probably get me only an A2 / B3.

but anyway i'm very tired now cuz it's early in the morning.
P.S. i finished all my e-math assignments!! YAY. and prelims start THIS coming thursday. omg. i feel like dying already. i've not started my revision. T.T


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

2:16 AM

21 August, 2009
[untitled]

oral was quite okay today, though i was super nervous before that.

But know what? i said "some of the disabled face PROCRASTINATION" instead of DISCRIMINATION. and i realized it only in class. how smart!


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

4:22 PM

20 August, 2009
ORAL

oral tomorrow. and i'm pacnicking one day before. like, now. so dead. my vocabulary bank is smaller than a drop of diluted blood. my pronounciation is bad and my tongue gets twisted sometimes =S

i feel like getting into coma now, until saturday. but that shouldn't be the case, cuz i've got to get it over and done with. Otherwise we'll stil have makeup oral. argh. okay. i shall go there, sit and crap. and refrain myself from getting my tongue twisted. hope consultation with Ms Jeya works ">.<"


omg and i'm really careless. while doing the cedar e-math prelim paper. i lost 17 marks in total because of careless mistakes. %()*_^*%^#_%*^!_)%(@_*_)&^_$(#. you'll realize that my sentences are short. very. because i'm panicky now. argh.

okay. bye bye. i should get on with my work. i hope a picture with lots of things to say comes out tomorrow. otherwise i'm dead meat because i only got 6 for my prelim oral picture discussion. How pro.


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

7:48 PM

19 August, 2009
on the verge on dying

As what the title said, i'm on the verge of dying. Or rather, on the verge of mental breakdown due to stress. Live's very, very hectic with mock exams, timed trials, weekly tests, TONS of homework, practice papers, exam papers. There's so much that it'd take me a week to list them all out.

Anyway, release of chinese O levels results today. our school did quite well and i'm proud of my friends for being able to withstand the 2 weeks of mother-tongue intensive lessons, and giving their best. though i didn't get any results, i was still somehow affected by the 场合. people screamed and cried. some out of joy, and some out of disappointment. somehow i felt the URGENT NEED to start preparing for my O's NOW. seriously, because time flies. this friday's already the english oral [and i'm panicking, last minute] and next week's the prelim. We've got only about 10 more weeks to the actual major exam. how am i supposed to cram EVERYTHING by the exams if i don't start now? Okay, i've planned my studies. but i'd probably lack self discipline and not follow the schedule.

I failed my physics mock test. expected, but still, it's depressing. My chemistry's bad, my literature hopeless, combined humanities not good. What can i get for my L1R5? probably a freaking 20. hah i don't know. but whatever it is, i should seriously start and buck up now. 10 more weeks to go. only. here i am panicking for my oral two days later, and another friend of mine in another school said "two more months only". TO THE O'S. omg. i should actually do some self reflection.

Next year in January, i want to see myself scream and cry because i got good grades, not because i got shitty grades. actually, i can imagine myself seeing a 20 points for L1R5. but i should rid of that tought, because thought = reality. Seeing how people in other schools study, scoring well in their exams, i really think that i'm stupid. I mean like what about me can get me 7A1s? nothing. i've got stupid brains alright. Evidence: i pressed 4 on the calculator instead of 24; i read the wrong graph; i multiplied by the wrong number; i misread information. See, that's how stupid i am. I don't dare to pin my hopes on getting 7A1s for fear of greater disappointment.

Oh, and i realised that our seniors did well because by this time, they would be studying like madwomen; not like me, sitting here, blogging about crappy stuff. I shall be abit like them and get my brain to study now.

Now i hope we've got 48 hours a day and we no need to rest/eat/sleep.

zai jian~! [scx and loi, i've updated!! =)]

p.s. blogger's got some problem, so i can't color and change/increase the font. bleh

p.p.s. finally i can edit the fonts =)

To those who're mugging like crazy for their Os, "just do it and do it well" [favourite quote from Mrs Chia] and jiayou! don't die before the Os =)


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

4:57 PM

15 July, 2009
[untitled]

Eglish: 60.3%
Chinese: 50.3%
A-Math: 78.9%
E-Math: 76.5%
Chemistry: 70%
Physics: 58.3%
Combined Humanities: 72%
Literature: 52%


Average: 64.8%
L1R5: 15

=S i need to, and WILL work hard. from now, though its a little late already =(


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

5:42 PM

13 July, 2009
results released!

Didn't do well for quite a lot of subjects, especially subjects got to do with ENGLISH. omg i seriously need to read books everyday and i hope having The Whale Rider and Glass Menagerie as my bedtime storybook helps =(

So, here it is:
English: 59.5% [5]
Chinese: 50% [had 1% given to me to HELP ME PASS. bull shyt] [6]
E-Math: 72% / 76% [can't remember] [1/2]
A-Math: 79.5% [can't remember too, around there. Top in the level: FULL MARKS] [1]
Social Studies: 76% [1]
Geography: 68% [Section A 84%; Section B 52%] [3]
Combined Overall: 72% [2]
Literature: 52% [6]
Physics Overall: 58.3% [5]
Chemistry Overall: 70% [2]

look at how bad my lit, english and chinese is. The worst thing is that english is going to be counted as my L1. my chinese cmi, so i really REALLY have to buck up on my language. The Whale Rider is at my bedside, waiting for me to read it. need to add oil for my physics and chem for A1. Need more practice for E-Math and A-math. Those top in the level get like 90+%? and i'm only at like 70. Throwing chinese away, saw my geog paper, and my human geog was crappy. way too crappy =(

L1R5: 16/17. kill me.

my knee wounds are infected, AFTER visiting the doctor. WOW. and it hurts more than the last few days. my wound is gross, gross, gross. and disgusting. it's SLIMY, WET, VISCOUS, and i don't know what to add. can't clean it away cuz its STUCK onto my skin. =S now i'd rather do two math papers than bathe, seriously. Bathing is painful, and i can only do so with one hand cuz the other is injured. Smart me wounded that wound again by POKING into it. now i know how those disabled feel. i bet they have strong and flexible muscles.


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

3:55 PM

10 July, 2009
IT HURTS. ALOT.

Fell down in school during P.E today. Amazed at how i managed to tahan all the way =S somehow while doing suicides, i fell at the last spurt =.=" run run run then piak. No, i didn't trip on anything, i didn't run on uneven ground. But down i went. Haha, people said i was in a nice position ">.<"

Anyway, after that looked for our dear red-cross-er to help me with my wounds. Antiseptic, then burn___. Forgot the name. omg it STUNG. Felt like needles were pricking into my wounds, and sometimes out of a sudden the wound will hurt dam alot. After P.E was lit, so had no choice but to go back to class. Thought the wounds had stopped bleeding, but NO, it didn't. When i reached the class BAREFOOTED, blood was flowing down with the cream =.=" The wound didn't stop bleeding for like 2.5 hours? Until a-math was over and during english it was still bleeding a little. And till now it still hurts like shyt, no matter standing/sitting/walking. Maybe that's 坐立不安的真谛. Both knees, right elbow, chin, right palm, and right little finger are all injured places T.T

But from what Ms Ang said, if we fall for alot of times our balance will get better. =X But anyway, NAPFA next week, the last test already. If i miss that one, then bye bye to my napfa results. AND, the sickening thing is its on TUESDAY. wth. 3 days for me to recover from this idiotic wound?! but whatever. I shall let it heal asap =) Lots of homework to do, and i'm wondering how to write with my hand...


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

9:18 PM

05 July, 2009
[untitiled]

“うその涙は人を傷つける; うその笑顔は自分を”。。
事実を強調することはできない


我承认我的自私,也很抱歉无法使自己改变态度。
是否已经被讨厌习惯了,我不知道。
兴趣让我接近你;或许预感阻碍我的言行举止。
很清楚自己要留一点空隙彼此才能呼吸,更清楚这是错误的态度。
问我原因我也不知从何说起。形影不离?知道太多?
保持刚刚好的距离是如此困难。
但单凭我觉得因该有个停止而表现出如此态度,对你很不公平。
这我知道,但要我改变也是相当难的事。或许早已放弃了。
什么都不想,就任由这疯狂的脑袋做决定是最简单的方法。

说过自己会一概不顾,也说过不管怎样都不会改变决定。
从开始认定自己做错了判断,
直到连自己都否认自己的话。
一直以来都欺骗说“不要紧”
但事实上是紧得不能再紧了。
可惜的是欺骗自己比欺骗别人来得难;
谁都能骗,但唯有自己骗不了。
不管滴下假眼泪或是路出假笑容,
到最后会发现除了带来更多的麻烦,
什么都没做到。
With reference to what my friend wrote; 5 years later when I look at this, it probably wouldn't make sense anymore. Guilt. This is what i feel. Only, really. But it's strong enough to make me go crazy



乱七八糟,一塌糊涂的 entry. I don't even know what i'm writing. It's all messed up and this's how my brain's functioning. Great day at ECP, except the fact that my arms and face are red like i got stung by jellyfishes. =S


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

10:42 PM

26 June, 2009
[untitled]

屡次三番都一样。
每次下定决心讨厌你,又冒然出现在我眼前
几乎开始忘记时,你又毫不留情地让我想起
一直想说的话,到现在一句也没说。
已累计成山了的情感,不知从何应付。

好想向着你喊出一大堆脏话,
好想把你推下新加坡河。
但算了, i don't want my karma in the negative scale like what DJJ claimed.

不知从何,开始有了记忆;
如此轻而易举得来的记忆。
可惜的是直到现在才得知,
不管费多少心思尽多少力,
记忆是没那么容易忘记的;
回忆是没那么容易抛下的。

早知今日,何必当初。
但就因为未曾预料到现在,
当初才用错了脚走错了路


うその涙は人を傷つける
うその笑顔は自分を

思い出を作るのはあんなにすごく簡単なことなのに
忘れるのはこんなに難しい

8:46 PM